On a different note, I've been reminded about why I haven't dated much and why "casual dating" just wouldn't work well for me. An oldies song put it well, "When I give my heart, it will be completely, or I'll never give my heart." Some people can date and keep their heads on straight. I went on a date once "with no strings attached" and it took me more than a year to recover. It's more of a statement about the way my heart works. I know I need to grow stronger in discernment and self control. I also know I need to keep holding out for a higher standard, because I too easily convince myself that the standard is lower. Most importantly this has reminded me that I keep looking for love in other sources when I need to find it in my Lord and Savior, the spring of Living Water.
This is also a theological journey. Where the rubber meets the road. I believe that if God has a husband for me, that person is special, one of a kind, and a better fit for me than the guys I have seen. Therefore I'll trust God, and wait, and lean on His wisdom. Also, if I truly believe that He is my portion I will not allow my heart to wander so quickly and seek to attach itself so easily.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Why Easter is Difficult for Me
Today has been a great day, but Easter is a hard holiday for me to grapple with. "Let's celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. . . with bunnies and eggs. "
I even feel funny saying to people, "Happy Easter!" but I didn't know what else to say, so I said it anyway. I'm even eating marshmallow peeps and jelly beans right now. I'm such a syncretist. I used to get upset at people who would point out how off-center our holiday traditions are, but now I'm getting fed up with it. This day is supposed to be about the resurrection of our Passover Lamb, but now even believers get distracted by pagan traditions.
This is why I can't stand it: The Christian "passover" was for the first 3 centuries celebrated on the 14th day of the Jewish month Nisan, before the first day of Jewish Passover. This was the date that He was crucified, and it would have been inescapable for Christians to understand the significance of Him being crucified in conjunction with the Jewish Passover. I'm guessing that they would have been having their seders at the same time as their Jewish friends, "doing this in remembrance of Me."
But by the year 325, Christian antisemitism was in full swing. One of the topics for discussion at the Council of Nicaea was the "separation of Easter from the Jewish Passover." Emperor Constantine was an influence in this for his own antisemitic reasons:
So they regulated the celebration of Christian passover to a date on the Roman calendar. Always a Sunday, because he arose on a Sunday. In conjunction with the spring equinox. I've learned that it's disputed whether or not "Easter" comes from Babylonian celebrations of Ishtar/Esther/Ashteroth, goddess of love and sensuality. Yet, it is known that the English and Germanic "Easter" originated as a spring holiday having to do with fertility. Hence bunnies and eggs.
I had heard the disputes over the paganism of Easter before, but now that I know about the council of Nicaea and Constantine's part in changing the holiday it leaves even more of a sour taste in my mouth. Why don't people know this? All we ever hear is that "Christians celebrate Easter on a Sunday because the resurrection was on a Sunday," and maybe something about the fact that it was during Passover. How many people know that "the last supper" was a Passover seder. . . and that it wasn't coincidence?
This is why bunnies and eggs make my stomach turn during these days. This is why I find it even more repulsive when Christians try to use "Resurrection eggs" and other Easter traditions to teach their kids about Jesus.
He is risen indeed! I'd rather say that than "Happy Easter" any day!
I even feel funny saying to people, "Happy Easter!" but I didn't know what else to say, so I said it anyway. I'm even eating marshmallow peeps and jelly beans right now. I'm such a syncretist. I used to get upset at people who would point out how off-center our holiday traditions are, but now I'm getting fed up with it. This day is supposed to be about the resurrection of our Passover Lamb, but now even believers get distracted by pagan traditions.
This is why I can't stand it: The Christian "passover" was for the first 3 centuries celebrated on the 14th day of the Jewish month Nisan, before the first day of Jewish Passover. This was the date that He was crucified, and it would have been inescapable for Christians to understand the significance of Him being crucified in conjunction with the Jewish Passover. I'm guessing that they would have been having their seders at the same time as their Jewish friends, "doing this in remembrance of Me."
But by the year 325, Christian antisemitism was in full swing. One of the topics for discussion at the Council of Nicaea was the "separation of Easter from the Jewish Passover." Emperor Constantine was an influence in this for his own antisemitic reasons:
Constantine wrote that: "… it appeared an unworthy thing that in the celebration of this most holy feast we should follow the practice of the Jews, who have impiously defiled their hands with enormous sin, and are, therefore, deservedly afflicted with blindness of soul. … Let us then have nothing in common with the detestable Jewish crowd; for we have received from our Saviour a different way."[21] Theodoret recorded the Emperor as saying: "It was, in the first place, declared improper to follow the custom of the Jews in the celebration of this holy festival, because, their hands having been stained with crime, the minds of these wretched men are necessarily blinded. … Let us, then, have nothing in common with the Jews, who are our adversaries. … avoiding all contact with that evil way. … who, after having compassed the death of the Lord, being out of their minds, are guided not by sound reason, but by an unrestrained passion, wherever their innate madness carries them. … a people so utterly depraved. … Therefore, this irregularity must be corrected, in order that we may no more have any thing in common with those parricides and the murderers of our Lord. … no single point in common with the perjury of the Jews."Constantine's conversion to Christianity is disputed. He was of the sort that collected gods almost like good luck charms.
So they regulated the celebration of Christian passover to a date on the Roman calendar. Always a Sunday, because he arose on a Sunday. In conjunction with the spring equinox. I've learned that it's disputed whether or not "Easter" comes from Babylonian celebrations of Ishtar/Esther/Ashteroth, goddess of love and sensuality. Yet, it is known that the English and Germanic "Easter" originated as a spring holiday having to do with fertility. Hence bunnies and eggs.
I had heard the disputes over the paganism of Easter before, but now that I know about the council of Nicaea and Constantine's part in changing the holiday it leaves even more of a sour taste in my mouth. Why don't people know this? All we ever hear is that "Christians celebrate Easter on a Sunday because the resurrection was on a Sunday," and maybe something about the fact that it was during Passover. How many people know that "the last supper" was a Passover seder. . . and that it wasn't coincidence?
This is why bunnies and eggs make my stomach turn during these days. This is why I find it even more repulsive when Christians try to use "Resurrection eggs" and other Easter traditions to teach their kids about Jesus.
He is risen indeed! I'd rather say that than "Happy Easter" any day!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Do Not I Love Thee?
Lately a prayer of mine has been, "Lord, teach me to love You," because I'm becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I'm incapable of loving Him in my own power. My love is imperfect. I need to love a perfect being with perfect love, His love.
I was present for a discussion about how we can "show that we love God," but I kept thinking that didn't make sense. If I love God, won't it show naturally? Rather than asking how I can show my love for God, I must ask whether or not I truly love God!
I'm often afraid of being to quick to say that I love God. The Word is full of judgment for those that say they love God, but show otherwise by their actions.
My heart is prone to wander. It easily makes idols.
Do not I love Thee, Oh my Lord?
Behold my heart and see
And turn each cursed idol out
That dares to rival Thee.
Do not I love Thee from my soul
Then let me ever love!
Dead be my heart to every joy
When Jesus cannot move.
Thou knowest I love Thee, dearest Lord,
But Oh, I long to soar
Far from the sphere of mortal joys
And learn to love Thee more.
I was present for a discussion about how we can "show that we love God," but I kept thinking that didn't make sense. If I love God, won't it show naturally? Rather than asking how I can show my love for God, I must ask whether or not I truly love God!
I'm often afraid of being to quick to say that I love God. The Word is full of judgment for those that say they love God, but show otherwise by their actions.
My heart is prone to wander. It easily makes idols.
Do not I love Thee, Oh my Lord?
Behold my heart and see
And turn each cursed idol out
That dares to rival Thee.
Do not I love Thee from my soul
Then let me ever love!
Dead be my heart to every joy
When Jesus cannot move.
Thou knowest I love Thee, dearest Lord,
But Oh, I long to soar
Far from the sphere of mortal joys
And learn to love Thee more.
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