I've had this experience before, having to rely on God for the next steps of my life, but it's been a while. I guess I thought I had learned the lesson. I always counseled people, “There have been times when I had no idea what to do, but God always showed me in His timing, not mine.” Well, as we know about lessons learned, they always come back, but each time the heat gets turned up a little. The purpose is to strengthen our faith. The choice for me right now is not to decide where I want to go or what I want to do. The choice is to believe that God is GOD, that His character is secure, and to act upon the truth of Who He is. To cower back in fear is to dishonor His Name. It makes everything we do into a spiritual act if we do it out of the knowledge of who God is.
Many unrelated people keep telling me the same things: “Don't think about it too much. You're over-analyzing. You'll drive yourself crazy.” They are right. It all comes back to God and who He is. All the thinking and over-analyzing makes me want to run away screaming. It gives me absolutely no desire to live the kind of life I want to live. (Right now I am listening to Nichole Nordeman singing, “You make me want to live/You came to shake us and to wake us up to something more than we'd always settled for.”)
As my roommate said last night, “Just visiting a school is not a commitment to go there. You might visit and decide to do something different, but unless you try you will never know.”
O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.
(Psa 131:1-2)For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.
(Psa 62:5-8)
My soul, do not lose hope. Hope in God.
1 comment:
I wish I could help more directly
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